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Attraction

Awkward Start

So last night was the event I mentioned in my last post. My fitness group was getting together to have dinner. There had been a class earlier in the afternoon, and I had attended. As I was walking out the door, my instructor (not the one I’m interested in) asked me if I was planning to go to the dinner. And I kind of got this “he might be interested” vibe from him. Turns out he was just being nice.

I was a few minutes late to dinner because I had only 1.5 hrs between class and dinner & I had to catch the bus, shower, get ready, catch the bus back. So when I arrived almost everybody was already there (the only other girl who went to the session that day wasn’t there yet). Only the instructor from the afternoon class came, not the one I was interested in. He’d brought along another guy who he shared a flat with.

And it turned out that we didn’t have a reservation. And we were in the theater district at 7:30 on a Saturday night. With a group of nine. Well done event organizer!

I may have been here before

So we wandered around a bit to try to find somewhere that might take a group of 9. I chatted with a few different people in the group and at one point started talking with another guy I was sort of interested in. He’s one of those guys who is just easy to talk to and super nice. I was kind of wondering if he might be interested in me, but when I tried to talk to him as we walked to another restaurant, he didn’t try to prolong the conversation and walked past me at the first chance. I wasn’t sure what the deal was until we got to dinner.

So finally we ended up on the next street over and happened upon this little restaurant that I happened to have been to before…and hadn’t been impressed. So of course, they had space for nine people. I didn’t want to be picky (especially since I was the only newbie who showed up and hadn’t figured out the group dynamic yet), so I kept my mouth shut, and we went in.

Highlights: who’s married, who’s gay, who thinks I’m into them

So we all sit down at the table and people start talking, and wine gets ordered, and people keep talking. The instructor turned to the event organizer and made a comment about how he’d led us to the gay district (“I don’t mind, obviously,” he said. At which point my brain went ????).

Super Nice Guy starts telling a story and gesticulating with his hands – he’s wearing a wedding ring (another “ah-ha” moment in my brain).

Event Organizer, who’s sitting across from me, is slightly cross-eyed, and I don’t realize he’s talking to me until he finishes his story and expects a response.

The guy next to me looks super young (I estimated 18-21), didn’t order booze, ordered two appetizers and mac and cheese as his main course. Later somebody commented on how he’s the youngest one there, and then The Instructor says, “Well, maybe not, how old is Sadie?” I almost choked. “Excuse me?” I said. I looked at The Kid, “How old are you?” I asked. “19” he said. Without meaning to, my mouth formed an “awe”, and I patted him on the shoulder (though I’d intended it to be a reassuring pat, not a condescending one. Not sure I pulled that off). Just so you guys know, I’m more than halfway through my 20s. So it’s a little annoying when people think I’m younger than a 19 year old.

The Kid mishears a comment The Instructor makes about beating wives (I think he actually said “eating wives”) and says “Does R (the guy T.I. brought with him) need to tell us something?” (my brain went “le sigh”).

Towards the end of dinner, The German shows up with a big beautiful white fluffy dog. He sits down in the only empty chair, which is next to me. Oh, I should mention, besides the two ladies who come to class frequently, The German is the only other one I’ve added on Facebook, and here’s why: he invited me to a party and said he’d inbox me the deets. So I added him and he never sent the info. Also he seemed somewhat flustered and possibly blushed (more probably was just still red from working out) when I asked him about the party after class. He’d invited everyone in class (it wasn’t a me-specific invite), but I’d wanted to branch out and meet some more locals, so I asked him about it. Anyway, I think he thought I was into him (I’ll be honest, he does make me slightly uncomfortable, and the thought had crossed my mind), so pretty much the first thing he says in conversation at dinner is “My girlfriend” yada yada yada. Right-O.

Move to the pub

After dinner we head to the pub. As you do. A couple people peel off, including Super Nice Guy (who, by the way, looks a lot like one of my exes).

Event Organizer and The Kid both try to buy me a drink. I order a whiskey ginger and pay for it myself. The Kid tries to tell me what whiskey is. He’s pointing at my drink thinking it’s his. He’s ordered straight whiskey, and it comes with a little pitcher of water.

We all sit down at our table; I’m next to E.O. His teeth are stained from the red wine earlier. Now he’s drinking strawberry cider. He makes a comment about having a girly drink, but The Instructor says, “No, what makes it girly is the fact that there’s a girl sitting next to you drinking whiskey.” True story.

Somebody starts a conversation about how creepy Mr. Tumnus is in “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe”. We determine that if his name had been “Jeff” he wouldn’t have been so creepy. I feel like I’m sitting in a Monty Python skit and can’t stop laughing. In my head I’m making all the Holy Grail references.

The Instructor and R leave around midnight, claiming “for every year you go past 30, you must leave one minute before midnight” like some reverse Cinderella or something. Then he clarifies, “R is tired.”

I’m getting another drink, do you want another drink?

Event Organizer tells a really awkward story about another guy – who we’ll call Jeff – not taking “the hottest girl at the party” home one night, then he yells somewhat belligerently, “I’m getting another drink!” and makes a motion as if to stand. I say I’m tired and ready to go home, and the one other lady who’s stuck around says she’s peacing as well. Event Organizer suddenly has a change of heart presumably since The Ladies aren’t staying, and starts putting his coat on.

We all head outside and congregate on the sidewalk as if we’re about to have a team huddle and chant before a match. Then we all head our separate ways. Jeff, Event Organizer, and The Lady are heading my way, so we walk off together. Jeff makes a comment about The Instructor “and his boyfriend” (relationship confirmed. Boys with accents confuse my gaydar). Then Jeff (who, besides The Kid and Event Organizer seems to be the only available male in the club) mentions that he was supposed to baby-sit his 8 year old niece but instead popped in a DVD and said “see ya later!” I asked him if he just left her at home by herself!? Then it came out that he lives with his parents. (brain does a sigh). He peaces to go find his car.

I watch my bus pass us on the opposite side of the road. 35-minute walk, yay. E.O. and The Lady go a little out of their way to accompany me to a main road, then I walk back listening to “North American Scum” by LCD Soundsystem.

When I get home, The Kid has added me on Facebook.

Lordy, where do I start.

Have been feeling a little down in the dumps today for some reason. Maybe it’s the lack of wine. Or pre-PMS. Or maybe it’s because the weather here is so damned dreary.

Awkward Positions

There’s also this little situation of unrequited love. Ok, I’m being a bit melodramatic, but yeah there’s this guy that I’ve been crushing on since I got here (he’s actually my fitness instructor…), and there’s a whole saga that I’m not going to go into (let’s just say that it was pretty, um, clear when he was helping me with my form that he’s also, um, shall we say “interested” in me…ok that sounds like he groped me. He didn’t grope me, but he definitely…reacted to me). The only issue is that the man has got to be in his forties (and I’m in my mid-twenties) so I imagine that he’s trying to avoid a sexual harassment suit. Which is the reason I’m giving for his not having asked me out (also the possibility that he is married). But it could also be these damned Scotsmen and their damned humility. People don’t have confidence here like we Americans do. In some ways it’s refreshing, but in others it’s just damned frustrating.

In any case, I’d do the deed myself but whenever I develop a crush on somebody I can’t manage to string two words together to form any kind of coherent sentence around them. It’s a curse, I know (and is more or less the true root of all my love problems). So yes, silent suffering. There is a gathering this weekend for our fitness group at a restaurant where we shall likely all converse and be normal people, so maybe that will be good, but maybe he won’t be there, I don’t know. In any case, I’ve done the other thing I often do in these drawn out situations: I’ve kind of gotten over it. That’s the worst. A situation arises that I might actually be able to take advantage of, but I’ve already given up hope on the man, and my attraction to him has started to wane. Oh well.

Art Projected

Then there’s this art thing that I participated in way back a few months ago and sort of did a half-assed job on. And it was for this really awesome dude that I totally respect and admire and if he were even slightly interested in me I’d totally have his babies, but he’s not, boo hoo. Anyway, he finished the art thing and sent out emails today to everyone involved in it, and of course it made my heart leap and I’m all missing home now. Goddammit.

Here’s a typical story for ya

After Belgium dumped me, he said he still wanted to be friends. Ok, sure, I’m down…I guess. Besides, he still has one of my favorite books that I lent him.

So a few days after we called it quits, I texted him. It was some innocuous text about this club that was trying to get me to join (and pay their massive membership fee). I’d gone to a party at the club a few months beforehand, and they sent me a pair of *free lunch tickets*. I invited B to lunch (turned out to be a “meet and greet” with the PR person and a tour of the club culminating in signing membership docs. Needless to say, we didn’t go). But when I received yet another email from them, I took the opportunity to extend a hand of friendship/”let’s not be awkward about it” to B.

He responded in record time

When we were “into each other”, it took B hours, sometimes a day, to respond to my text messages (and I’m not the type of girl to incessantly text message someone. I’d message him maybe once or twice a day. This after we’d made a habit of talking and hanging out regularly, and I’d stayed over at his place already).

Suddenly, B is responding within minutes of receiving my texts. We had a short, friendly conversation about the club, and that was it. I recall thinking, “Maybe I can be friends with him.” Or at least friendly.

Can a girl be any more wrong?

Two days later, the day before Valentine’s Day, he texts me. “I really like that engineering book you gave me. Nice work…How was your match date?”

Alright, nice of him to compliment me on my gift-giving abilities, but why does he want to know about my date? Course, I was feeling a little self-indulgent, and thought I’d let him know just how well everything’s going on my side (maybe instill in him a little self-doubt about his decision to call it quits) so I told him I had a good time and we were planning to hang out again soon. Which is true. But it was also true that I found Readsalot to be more of a friend type. I decided not to mention that part.

B went on to inquire what we did on our date. I told him we walked on the boardwalk, then said I had another date lined up for that evening. He wrote, “Hah wow, I wouldn’t expect any different though. That’s awesome.”

Successful. Dating. Pursuits.

Then he said, “Sometimes I feel like I need a stress relief which hasn’t happened, and I’m trying to separate that from my dating pursuits. Which I’ve been successful at.”

Dating pursuits. As in, career pursuits, sporting pursuits, academic pursuits, dating pursuits. As in, “let me check that off my grocery list”.

I told him he needed to stop giving himself such a hard time and take a vacation. He agreed with me. Then he asked me where I was going on my next date. I told him, and he said, “should be fun. I mean it’s no blues club but ya know…” OK. That’s not very fair, comparing my new dating activities to the dates the two of us went on. After all, he broke it off with me. He can’t come trying to sabotage my new dates when he’s already told me he’s not interested.

So I did a photoshoot

One of my good friends is a photographer, and he wanted to mess around with some different lighting techniques, so I agreed to model for him. The modeling sesh was mostly implied nude. I’d told B I was shooting, so he asked “Did you get your pics back from the shoot the other day? You photograph really well. I’m excited to see them.”

The pics were totally classy – not even close to trashy or flashy. Very artistic and interesting to look at. But they also showed a significant amount of skin. Considering how much interest in my dates B had shown, I thought I’d mess with him a little and send him some of those pics. It was probably a poor decision.

He responded with, “Those are beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Any more that are more risque?”

To which I said, “Are you trying to get me to send you nudie photos : P”

“You caught me 🙂 yes I am,” he wrote. I sent him a couple more. “Those are amazing also,” he said, “You’re getting closer :)”

I wrote, “Well tough nuggets, that’s all you get.”

He said, “Well next time I see you, if you’re comfortable with it I’d really like to see those other [more revealing ones] too.”

“Hah, I don’t think so, sorry,” I responded.

“Haha ok. Prude ; )” he wrote.

“I’m not a prude, I’m just not going to share nudes with someone I’m not sleeping with.”

He chose to ignore that comment and we moved on to talk about this book I’ve been reading called The Four Hour Body. There is a component in the book about having better sex. And of course we talked about that for a while. I learned that he is into “anal stimulation” (his words, not mine). Course, I’d kinda picked that up when I’d stayed over that one time…

Eventually, we signed off and went to sleep.

A happy Valentine’s Day indeed

The next day was Valentine’s Day. I intended not to message him since I didn’t think it would be entirely appropriate, considering how we “weren’t interested in each other anymore”. He, however, had other ideas.

Around 10:30 that night he wrote “Hello…Happy valentine’s day to you. How did drinks go last night?”

Completely fed up with his ambiguity and his interest in my match dates, coupled with the fact that he had the audacity to message me on Valentine’s Day, I responded, “Why are you so curious about my dates?”

He took about ten minutes to respond, but eventually wrote, “Won’t make that mistake again.”

I said, “Listen, I want to be friendly with you, but I just don’t want you comparing every date I go on to the ones you and I went on. Capiche?”

And I haven’t heard from him since.

So bizarre. So. Bizarre.

It seems like I’m always apologizing for not posting

I do have a legitimate excuse at the moment, though, considering I don’t currently have internet at my new place. Basically, AT&T told me they could send a worker out to hook everything up for me for $200, OR I could just pay them $100 and they’d ship me the equipment in two weeks. Yeah, which one would you have picked? (As it turns out, all the equipment arrived in the mail today, but they aren’t activating the service until tomorrow after 8pm. Laaaaaaame).

BUT tomorrow evening, if all goes according to plan, I will have the interwebz in mah house at last! #HeckYes

In the meantime, I’ve been to just about every establishment in town that offers free wifi, and unfortunately they don’t all operate on my night-owl schedule. So that’s been difficult. Also, due to the sensitive nature of my blog, I don’t like writing on it in public. And it seems like the last few places I’ve gone to, there’s always been someone to sit directly behind me, and I’m paranoid they’re trying to read over my shoulder (not that anyone would really give a damn about my silly little blog, but it still makes me uncomfortable).

But back to the story

So last week, Belgium barely contacted me at all. He’d take hours to respond to texts (and it’s not like I was texting him that often! No more than twice per day…and we’d gotten in the habit of talking to one another a good bit). A couple times he didn’t respond to a text until the next day.

Just to be clear, I am not the kind of girl who begs for attention from guys. I am the kind of girl that gets fed up with a guy not responding and so in turn doesn’t get in touch with him either. I’m not desperate, and I don’t want to seem like I am. If a guy is not showing interest, I am not going to force myself on him.

Nextttt

Belgium was starting to bug me because he wasn’t responding. So Wednesday of last week, I got back in touch with Readsalot. We scheduled a date for today. (More on that later).

And I have to admit, it was pretty satisfying to be able to tell B that I had already made plans with someone else when he told me it “wasn’t working out”.

I don’t think this is gonna work

At least B had the courtesy to call me. I guess after three dates and some hookup time it would have been pretty shitty for him not to call me. I was in the middle of something when he called, so I didn’t answer. Called him back a few hours later.

The conversation went something like this:

  • Me: Hey, sorry I missed your call, I’ve been kinda busy today.
  • Him: Yeah, me too. I’ve got that robots thing later today [he helps kids build robots. all. the. time.]
  • Me: Oh, well did you want to try to do somethin today? When is your robots thing?
  • Him: In like an hour.
  • Me: Oh.
  • Him: Hey, I’ve been thinking…about us, and I don’t think it’s going to work out.
  • Me: Umm…Yeah, I kind of got that feeling from you this week.
  • Him: Well, it’s not just that, I mean I had a 60 hour work week this week.
  • Me: [rolling my eyes] Right.
  • Him: I mean, it just gave me a lot of time to think about us, and looking back on it, I don’t think we really have that much chemistry – I mean, you believe in chemistry as much as I do, right? There just isn’t that spark, you know?
  • Me: Hmm, yeah, I know what you mean. Match is a numbers game anyway.
  • Him: Yeah, I guess you’re right.
  • Me: Actually, I kind of already set up another date.
  • Him: [choked laughter] Really?
  • Me: Yeah, I mean, it seemed like things were headed this way. [awkward silence]
  • Him: Well this is awkward.
  • Me: Not really. I mean, it’s just interesting to me, I guess. I suppose I’m usually the one telling people I’m not interested.
  • Him: Yeah, I guess I could see that. [awkward silence]
  • Me: Anyway, I hope it wasn’t something I did.
  • Him: No! I mean, we’re both intelligent people, and I really do want to be friends with you – and I truly do mean that, I’m not just saying it to say it.
  • Me: Right. No, I mean I get it. [awkward silence]
  • Him: And I do want to hang out with you again. I have fun with you.
  • Me: Yeah, for sure.
  • Him: I mean, we had fun at the museum, right?
  • Me: Yeah, we did.
  • Him: You’ll have to tell the next guy that he has a lot to live up to!
  • Me: Hah, yeah. It was a pretty good date, but it didn’t work out so… [awkward silence]
  • Him: Umm…
  • Me: Anyway, let me know if you want to hang out this week…I mean, or whenever. [awkward silence]
  • Him: Yeah, definitely.
  • Me: Alright, talk to you later.
  • Him: Bye.

When I hung up he sent me a text message that said, “It’s nice when two level-headed people can just talk and be understanding like that so thank you.”

I felt a little bit like crying, but instead I wrote, “Yes, definitely. Good luck with everything :)”.

I’m over it

When I think about it, I’m glad he ended it when he did. And to be completely honest, after I came home from his place the night I stayed over, all I could think was “run”. So now I’m just happy not to be clinging to something that wouldn’t have worked out (I only really saw it as maybe a 6 month relationship tops anyway), and I’ve also had the opportunity to sit down and think about what I want from this Match experiment after all. And I think what I’ve come up with is a casual relationship (not necessarily exclusive) with someone I have fun being around and who isn’t trying to fill a void with a relationship. Oh yeah, a little good sex wouldn’t hurt either.

The funny thing is

So the best part of this whole story is that now that we’re officially not into each other anymore, he responds to my texts within 10-15 minutes. Or we had one text conversation the other day. It was amazing, he actually responded! I initiated the conversation, though, so it’s possible he was just attempting to show his good intentions of being friendly. Aaanyway, onto bigger and better things! (Besides, what would I write about if I had a steady relationship!?)

Tomorrow: My Coffee/Walking date with Readsalot

So we were snuggling on the couch

The pizza man had arrived in record time, the Ravens were winning, and all was right with the world. And then the power went out in New Orleans. B & and I were already yawning, and B took this opportunity to kiss me.

It got a little intense – clothes coming off and all that, so he grabbed my hand and led me back to his bedroom.

We got down to our underwear in record time

When suddenly he says in an oddly serious voice, “Hey, look at me.” I looked at him. He has big beautiful blue eyes, and at that moment they were very intent on mine. “This is as far as we go tonight, OK?”

“Umm…OK,” I said, a little taken aback. We resumed our activity. At one point he said (in between dry humping) “You know -” pause “I’ve been thinking about you -” pause “a lot today.”

“Oh yeah?” pause “What have you been thinking?”

“Oh, you know -” pause “You challenge me -” pause “mentally, I mean -” pause “and you stimulate me -” pause “intellectually.” Touching, but maybe not the best time to be having a discussion about our compatibility, B. 

Say my name

We moved on from B’s untimely praise, and later he went down on me. In the middle of it, he said to me, “Say my name.” Now, I don’t know if I mentioned this, but this guy is Belgian. I mean, he’s just as American as I am (he moved here at age 3), but he has a Belgian name…ie difficult to pronounce.

So here he is with his mouth at my crotch and telling me to say his name. His name that I don’t know how to pronounce. I thought frantically. Should I ask him how to say it? No, that would ruin the mood. Should I ignore his request? No, then he might just ask again.

So I ended up just saying it how I thought it was pronounced, but kind of mumbled it, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

He didn’t say anything, but the rest of the night he did keep referring to himself in third person. Talk about awkward.

Do you want to sleep over?

So it was getting late, and he lives a good ways from my place, so he asked if I wanted to sleep over. “Do you want me to?” I asked. “Yes. Yes, I do,” he said. “Alright,” I said.

After the Ravens had won the ball on a turnover in the last 3 minutes of the Super Bowl and it was clear the game was over, we retired to his room. Conveniently, I still had my soap and toothbrush and stuff from when I stayed at my parents. We washed ourselves up, got in bed, fooled around a bit, then went to sleep.

I’m not gonna be jerked around

There are so many things you learn about someone when you share a bed with them. I learned that B likes being the little spoon, loves physical contact (he’s really into cuddling) and is a very light sleeper.

A few hours after we went to bed, I had finally slipped into a deep sleep. B and I were back to back. All of a sudden, he bumps me hard with his bum, turns over to face me and says, “Oh, c’mon!”

I jerked awake and tried to turn and cuddle him, “What? What did I do?” I asked, very confused.

“Oh please, I’m not gonna be jerked around like that. I asked you a question and I expect you to answer it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I protested, “I was sleeping!” I turned over to look him in the eyes, “What did you ask?” We looked at each other for a second. Then he finally backed down.

“I could have sworn you’d heard me,” he said, looking down.

“What did you ask?” I said again.

He considered me for a second, then said, “Nothing. I think I was half-asleep, too.” Then he turned over and went back to sleep.

As if nothing ever happened

We got up the next morning and it was as if nothing had happened. We got ready to leave (he had work super early, so it was still dark out), and I kissed him goodbye and got in my car.

Later that day, I got a text message from him. “…Just got home, crashing and calling it a night! I vaguely remember sleep talking last night by the way.”

I then explained what had happened, and he claimed not to remember any of it. Except he must have since he brought it up! Now it seems like he is avoiding me. He’s been bad about returning my texts (it always takes him a few hours), and he made an excuse not to hang out on Wednesday. We haven’t talked on the phone either. It’s getting a little weird.

So I might be going out with Readsalot soon after all…

Round 2: Sushi and Blues with Belgium

For Round 1

He picked me up from my apartment a few minutes past 6:30. As soon as he knocked on the door, my roommate’s dog started barking its head off. I know he is not fond of dogs, and I didn’t feel like dealing with the dog jumping on him, so I peeked my head out the door and said “Just a sec!” Then closed the door in his face. Whoops.

I grabbed my purse and sweater. I was wearing this clingy sweater-dress with off-the-shoulder sleeves and a nice scarf and knee-length Anthro knit sweater. I’d debated wearing heels, but decided against it as I didn’t want to look too dressed up for the dive-y blues bar we were going to later.

I opened the door. He was standing there patiently. I was very nervous; tried not to let my hand shake as I locked the door. He looked good. Wearing a black jacket and collared shirt with jeans. Pretty much what I’d imagined he’d wear. Except a dark pair of jeans would have looked nicer, but I’d gathered from the sweatshirt he’d worn to our first date that he wasn’t huge into fashion. But it’s not like I want to date a dandy, so I’m not concerned.

The Drive

He drives some sort of sedan (I’m not huge into cars, so I don’t remember the make, although he did mention something about “buying American” so I assume it was a Dodge or something). Regardless, it was a manual. I find it so attractive when a man drives a stick shift. Just saying.

At one point, we got stuck behind a turning van, and he zipped around it on the right. “Geez, you couldn’t wait?” I said, before I could stop myself. He chuckled, “That’s how we drive up north.”

The rest of the drive passed in relative discomfort until we got to the restaurant.

The Date: Part I

I don’t really remember what all we talked about at the beginning of our meal. But I do recall thinking maybe this guy isn’t as interesting as I first thought… I felt like he was beginning to feel the same thing about me. Then he asked me about my faith.

I put this bit in my Match profile about not needing to be “saved”. Mostly because I’m tired of people infringing on my beliefs by trying to convince me that I should believe whatever it is that they believe. So he asked me about that, and that got me started.

Turns out we have similar backgrounds. We’re both the “black sheep” of our conservative, relatively religious families, we both had bad experiences at youth group, and we’re both doing our best to avoid church altogether.

Maybe it was the sake, but after that we seemed to get along a lot better than before. As we left the restaurant, he asked if I wanted to take a walk. “Sure,” I said. Obviously guy code for “let’s go find a quiet spot to make out.”

We headed down to the waterfront, holding hands, but halfway there, he seemed to have a sudden change of mind and took us back to the car to head over to the blues bar. Probably because there was a show being filmed down there, and I kind of wanted to check out the costume truck. Also, he’d told me on our first date that he’d kind of been talking to this other girl a while ago who was also a costumer. Perhaps he was afraid he’d run into her. Either way, we headed back to the car sans a make-out sesh.

The Date: Part II

We got to the blues place and headed over to the bar to grab a drink. He got Gin & Water (“a weird drink, I know,” he said), and I got a G&T. Even though I hadn’t worn heels, I still felt a little overdressed. No matter, though, I’d already accepted that we’d be the attractive young couple at the place filled with middle aged and older casually dressed patrons. There was a lot of jean going on. And not just pants, either.

We sat down at a table and sipped our gin, trying to hear each other talk. We were facing each other, and I had my legs crossed, so he’d occasionally rest a hand on my calf. At one point he leaned in closely and said, “Your legs are so soft.” If I hadn’t been into him, it would have been creepy. But I was totally into him. So yeah.

I also found out that he’d put a lot of thought into his outfit for that evening. He said that since he knew I work in costuming and have a pretty good sense of style, he was nervous about picking out something to wear. “So I settled on my tried-and-true blue collared shirt. I figured, old blue can’t fail me.” It was genuinely adorable. You know, that he’d really thought about what to wear.

As we left, I thought that maybe he’d kiss me in the parking lot before we got back into the car, but there was a group of people milling around out there, so he just opened my door and then headed over to his side.

So then we went back to my apartment…

“Do you want to come in?” I asked him. “Yes, absolutely,” he responded. As soon as we had the door shut behind us, I was kissing him, and not soon after, he slammed me up against said door. I think he said something about kissing his neck not being a good idea, but that was also right before he asked if he could “de-scarf me” (I was still wearing a scarf at this point).

As he tossed the scarf onto a chair in the living room, my OCD kicked in, and I grabbed it to take back to my room, dragging him along behind me, not really considering the implications of taking him to my bedroom.

But I’d hardly laid my scarf down before we were on the bed, and he was pulling my dress over my head. Course, I’d worn these tummy-tucking pantyhose that went to just above my knees, so that was a little embarrassing to have him see. “This is the secret to being a woman,” I said, gesturing to the pantyhose. He just chuckled and asked if he could take them off since he “wanted to see my panties”.

In any case, I just so happened to be on my period, which I made perfectly clear to him from the moment we landed on my bed…ie, you’re not gettin any tonight, buddy. I didn’t really want to get naked, and I told him to leave his pants on, but he was being very sweet and gentle, asking me where I liked to be touched, etc. Somehow we ended up in our underwear, him spooning me. “Where did you come from?” I asked him, incredulously. “Belgium,” he said.

Next up: Date 3 with Belgium

…this is happening tomorrow.

Round 1: PunkRock at a Fro-Yo Bar

PR and I had been exchanging texts and emails for a week or so by now, and at one point he said something about cherry ice cream. I figured it was about time we met in person, so that prompted me to suggest the fro-yo bar.

Via text, PR seemed a little scattered. He’d send me funny pictures or random thoughts every day or so, and we’d talk about music. He seemed like a cool dude, but he did mention that he had ADHD. And it definitely showed.

Where are you?

He texted me around ten till 8 to say he was a little early. I was running about 5 minutes behind (my thought is that arriving early as a girl seems a little desperate). When I showed up, I texted to let him know I was there, then walked into the Fro-Yo place. He wasn’t there. Then I receive a text saying “Meet out front?” Ok…I thought he’d been there for 15 minutes already…

I stood around for another five minutes or so, and he still hadn’t appeared. So I texted to make sure we were at the same place. As soon as I looked up from my phone, he was there in front of me.

“I accidentally went to that smoothie place on the other side of the shopping center,” he told me, holding out his arms for a hug. I smiled warmly and gave him a brief hug, then we headed inside.

How’s it work?

He’d never been to a Fro-yo bar before, so I had to explain how everything “worked”. He ended up filling his entire cup with yogurt (that’s A LOT of yogurt) and then put a bunch of Captain Crunch on top. When we sat down, he placed his cup on the table and sat back on the seat, considering. “I didn’t really think this through,” he said, “that’s a lot of ice cream.” “Yup,” I said. He continued, “Plus this Captain Crunch is just going to cut the roof of my mouth.” He was silent for a second, then shrugged, “Oh well!” and dove into the mountain of yogurt and Captain Crunch.

Connect Four

Some of these yogurt places are really pretty hokey, and we ended up at one with a bunch of Connect Four games on the tables. So of course we played it. For like an hour. In the meantime, PR jumped from one subject to the next, frequently interrupting himself to go off on tangents and then completely forgetting about the original story.

“So all my work friends think I’m crazy for this,” he started off, “but I really want a pet skunk.” That was his ice breaker. And the rest of the conversation throughout the date was similarly introduced. In any case, it turns out skunks are kind of adorable (when their scent glands are removed).

Have you considered stand-up comedy?

PR is back in undergrad studying for a degree in Accounting, but he is currently taking a bunch of gen-eds and pre-recs. For his gym class, he signed up for Fencing.

“Fencing!?” I said, “That sounds pretty baller.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too until I realized something,” he put his hands out and raised his eyebrows, “I don’t like getting stabbed!” This made me laugh, “Hey, have you ever considered doing one of those Open Mic Comedy NIghts?” I asked him. “Nope,” he said right away. He cocked his head to one side, “Not sure why, though.”

Suddenly, something occurred to him. He leaped up and asked, “Hey! Have you ever considered wearing aluminum cans!?” “What?” I asked, but he was out the door before I had time to inquire further.

Five minutes later he’d returned with a pair of earrings. Made from Monster cans. They actually looked super cool.

“I drink a lot of energy drinks”

I told him that I liked how you couldn’t tell what soda can the earrings came from. “Really?” he said, incredulous, “I could spot sugar-free Monster from a mile away…but then, I drink a lot of energy drinks. Usually I get two energy drinks and a large coffee when I have a lot of studying to do.” He shrugged.

Wow, this explains a lot. Also, talking to him made me realize I don’t have ADHD. (Not that I’ve ever been diagnosed with it, I just had my suspicions).

Time to go

We played one more Connect Four game, then headed out the door. He gave me a hug and went to kiss me, but I turned my head so he got my cheek. As we headed to our separate vehicles, he yelled something funny about being the Connect Four champion. I was genuinely amused.

The Verdict

I liked hanging out with this guy a lot, but his ADHD and immense amount of energy was a little too much for me. I could totally see myself being friends with him, though, so I sent him an email and suggested we just be friends. He said he was down and said he might like to go to a karaoke night together sometime. Sounds like a plan.

On a Scale of 1-10

Common Values: 7

Common Interests: 6

Sense of Humor: 8

Attraction: 5

Total: 26/40

Remaining Players

  • Gryffindor
  • Jimmm
  • Milwaukee
  • Brown Trout
  • Sailboat
  • Mr. Ordinary
  • JonnyBoy
  • Cars, Guns, and Horses
  • Brusselsprouts
  • Hapkido
  • PunkRock
  • Canada
  • Mr. Fun & Caring
  • Readsalot

Next up: Round 2 with Brusselsprouts – Sushi & Blues

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